40+ Times Karma Showed Up Right on Time

There's nothing that can ruin your day quite like a jerk. From everyday things like commuting to work to buying groceries at the supermarket, rude people are everywhere. These folks took to Reddit to share their real-life stories of getting revenge on people who wronged them. Revenge has never looked sweeter. We hope these jerks learned a valuable lesson about kindness!

On Hold

U/Amonette: "I’m a temp worker, and often, part of my job is manning the phones and preventing time-wasting calls from getting through to my boss. They try pretty hard to get through, and I often hear 'Hey it’s Mark—can I just have a quick word with Tony? He’s expecting my call.' Funnily, most people call the boss Anthony, and he’s very specific about not being bothered in meetings. This or some other telltale thing shows that the caller is lying. Not only do they not care about disturbing my very busy manager, they’re trying to pull a fast one on me. So I get them every time. I tend to say 'Are you happy to hold?’ then check back five minutes later with 'I’m sorry, Tony is still all tied up. Are you happy to continue to hold?’ My record is half an hour."

First in Line

U/slytherinpoet: "I am 5’4' male who looks less muscular than I am. I was in line for priority boarding and it had just started when the woman behind me said 'Excuse me, this is for priority boarding. You need to wait with everyone else.' I ignored her and presented my boarding pass with my active duty ID. My only revenge was when the attendant said 'thank you for your service.' I turned to the woman behind me, grinned, and said 'thanks!' Before boarding."

Sweet Treats

U/asdf_qwerty27: "My old college roommate didn’t know how to cook or do dishes and didn’t go food shopping much. This led to him eating my food, especially my leftovers as those were prepared meals. The behavior did not stop and he actually seemed to be eating more of my food out of spite. To punish him, I baked a chocolate cake with habanero peppers and mixed the frosting with wasabi. I labeled it with my name and a bold 'Do Not Eat' and waited. About two days later, him and a couple of his friends...decided to dig into my food. Somehow, they ate about a third of it before realizing it, and when they inevitably went to throw up...the cake hit them a second time. He stopped eating my cooking after that."

Blocked In

U/Gtownbad: "I work at a grocery store wrangling shopping carts. If I ever saw someone put a cart in front of their car instead of walking the 15 feet to put it away, I would grab my line of carts and block them in. I would proceed to take the longest time ever to gather their cart while pretending not to notice them sitting in a running vehicle."

Your Prejudice is Showing

"I was waiting in line to vote, and stood next to an Asian man. We engaged in a conversation about the excitement surrounding the election. He struck me as a very well educated person with interesting insights. When it was his turn at the registration desk, the woman there rudely asked him if he spoke English before he opened his mouth. Then she asked if he did, would she be able to understand him. I spoke up and said that he spoke English a whole lot better than she did and wasn’t anywhere near as rude as she was."

Double Check the Math

U/jooby-the-nooby: "Our school’s schedule got revamped which meant that one of our classes that was two periods long was cut in half to accommodate all the changes. When I brought this up to the teacher I was co-teaching with, she called me an i---- and told everyone sitting in our table group that I wasn’t very good at math as everyone laughed. A few minutes later, the principal cleared up the new schedule, only for her to realize that she was wrong in the first place. It felt so good to see the look on her face when she realized she was the i---- and not me."

Proven Wrong

U/halroxy: "Senior kindergarten, I had an activity for Mother’s Day to color some pre-printed cards with three tulips. The teacher told us to color them red, yellow and orange. Well, six-year-old me colored one tulip purple because I didn’t like orange. My teacher told me I was wrong, and to redo it because 'purple tulips don’t exist'. I told my mom when I got home. She then cut the purple tulip out of our garden and I took it to class the next day to prove my teacher wrong."

Easy Listening

U/goldenjumper11: "I noticed my Spotify had a PS4 with a German name connected to it, which is odd because I don’t have a PS4. Spotify was unable to disconnect me from it using my account, so I decided to take it into my own hands. I blasted heavy metal at full volume on their PS4 at midnight Germany time. I think they may have been in game since they let it go for a few seconds then attempted going to the next/previous songs and pausing it a few times, to no avail. Eventually, they uninstalled Spotify and I changed my password, but darn that felt good."

Driving Dangerously

U/Brosef_Stalin94: "The other day my wife and I were coming home from bowling and we got behind a truck in the left lane, next to a Maserati with a total Karen in it. This woman then suddenly jerks her vehicle over without signaling. She’s in front of the truck, having missed him by a few inches. The whole time she’s acting like it’s his fault that she swerved and endangered everybody. The truck retaliated by cutting her off just like she did to him, and then someone else came from behind her and blocked her in the other lane so she couldn’t pass the truck again. We got in on it too at that point. We then found out the truck guy lived in our apartment complex, and high fives were given all around."

Nitpicking

U/sg1gal: "I had a paper returned to me this morning because I didn’t write out all the names of the authors in the manuscript. I took a screenshot of their submission guidelines detailing that author names must be formatted with the first initial followed by the last name, and sent it back. I got an apology email and a 'submission received' notification a few minutes later. Academia, I swear to God."

Crusin' for Trouble

U/elRobRex: "Several years ago, I lived in the northwest coast of Puerto Rico. The electric infrastructure was a bit old, so when it was rainy season, we’d lose power for a few hours at a time. Not a big deal—I had a gasoline generator. Enter a new neighbor. He lived two doors down from me, and drove an amazing custom Chevy van from the 70s. I caught him taking the gas...I’d leave outside in case the generator ran out. Although I...called him out on it, he denied it and played stupid. I then went to the nearest gas station that had diesel and filled it up with diesel. A few days later, I am woken up by a tow truck backing up to pick up his now disabled van. I looked out the window and you could see the anger on his face."

Slow and Steady

U/Bamesjondpokesmot: "I was at a gas station putting air in my tire. This gas station required you to pay $1.00...As I’m filling my tires, a lady pulls up beside me and starts asking questions like how much it was to use, how much time, etc. I answered her questions as best I could but really was more focused on filling my tires since there was a time limit. The lady is still waiting there and is getting visibly annoyed. This lady yells out, ‘Will you hurry up! I’m in a rush!’ I was confused for a second but quickly realized that she just wanted to use my time without paying. I did what any gentleman would do and proceeded to move slower. She almost hit my car swooping into where my car was. She jumps out and as she puts the air pump to her tire, it shuts off."

Wait Your Turn

U/Section_1: "A woman in her mid-50s cut in front of me and my two-year-old daughter in line at a restaurant. I was in the middle of getting my daughter a cookie and was in a hurry as I was dealing with a two-year-old. So I snapped at the woman, 'How is it that you’re 70 years old and you still don’t know how a line works?' She was gloriously silent."

Added Expense

U/DeLaNope: "I went to go get my exhaust fixed after I ran into a pothole and damaged it. When I went to go pick up the car a couple of hours later, I was treated to a woman SCREAMING at the guy behind the counter. She’s positively foaming because she has been waiting nearly 30 minutes for her car to be fixed. She even goes so far as to call the guy an 'INSIGNIFICANT LAZY IMMIGRANT.' The guy looks at her, then looks at me. He throws me my keys and says, 'Here you go, your Magnum’s ready—no charge.' He then looks her directly in the eyes. 'Looks like it’s going to be more expensive than we originally thought. Would you like us to call you a cab?' I returned shortly afterward with pizza for the shop."

Wear it Proudly

U/RaChernobyl: "I used to live on the third floor of an apartment that had its laundry in the basement. So we have cubbies in the laundry room for our soap and stuff. Apparently, some new people had moved in that were using my soap. When I realized it, I left a note asking that they stop. They kept using. So I got two bottles of soap. A blue-colored one, and a clear colored one. I marked the bottles CLEARLY that they belonged to me...and filled the blue soap with blue Rit dye. I then filled the clear soap with unscented bleach. And waited…Didn’t take long. The next morning, I hear screaming coming from the laundry room. In the laundry room, I found a bunch of wet clothes in the garbage that were bleach stained. Four days later, I saw a young man get into a car with a blue stained t-shirt."

Watch Your Mouth

U/Instantwinner1: "Just the other day, I was at a Chinese buffet and the three people in the booth next to me were questioning the waitress about voting. She had trouble understanding them and communicating that she could not vote. They then immediately began taunting. After the waitress walked off, one of the girls at the table looked up and asked me where I worked, because I looked familiar. When I replied that I worked at the local university in the social work department, she commented that she had recently been in my office to apply to our program. So I replied, 'Yes, I remember you and I’m also on the admissions committee.' The color drained from her face, and she knew she was screwed."

Confronting Karen's Tyranny

"My manager Karen had a notorious reputation for clashing with male colleagues, axing them one by one. Then came my turn. Facing her rage, I spoke up: 'I've got 6 weeks left before retirement, show some respect.' In response, she coldly stated, 'Fine, you're fired!' Shocked, I insisted on a reason. But she retorted, 'I don't owe you anything, old man!'. With a smirk, I simply said, 'Go check the contract.' I knew there was a clause that required probable cause for a layoff. She couldn’t find one, but she still insisted I was fired, so the next day, I showed up with my lawyer. 'If you want to play like that Karen I have no issues with that. Meet Mr. Dunphy. He’s going to help me sue the whole company.'"

Fashion Faux Pas

"I was picked on by a snobby coworker for being 'outdated' with my sense of style and love for vintage fashion. She'd make snarky comments every chance she got. One day, I decided it was enough. I took the high road and politely asked her to join me for lunch. As we sat at the fancy restaurant, she smirked, thinking she had won. But when the waiter brought out our meals, I noticed someone talking to their friend and pointing at me. I smiled at them and waved them over. They gushed over my outfit, saying they knew my social media accounts and loved to get inspiration from me. That happened about three more times, and finally, my coworker was in shock. When she looked up my Instagram, her mouth dropped open at my millions of followers, and suddenly, she had nothing else to say."

Family Fun

U/Popular-Jaguar-3803: "This was about 23 years ago. My husband was lousy at giving gifts. He would get what he wanted for himself. That year, I came home to a large box wrapped up, about 10 days before Christmas and he said it was for me. He was so excited. Mind you, we have always been pretty broke, so we (or should I say I) always bought for our children and his greedy family (MIL demands). For some reason, I wasn’t that excited about this gift. Intuition. Well Christmas Eve comes and we open gifts. He gets all excited, telling me that I am going to love this present. I open the box, to find…. A ShopVac. He told me that it is wonderful because it cleans up the garage, his domain. I was pissed!!!!! I had to wait for a year...kept quiet and told nobody of my plan for revenge. Christmas Eve...I put the present under the tree. Finally, his eyes light up seeing this big box...He opens the box, to find a case of toilet paper. I then quoted him. Christmas was not for what we would want but what we as a family need or could use. He was furious."

No Parking Zone

"I recently bought a house and have been having some work done before I move in. It was empty on the market for about 6 or 8 months before I bought it. One morning I got a call from my contractor, asking me about moving the cars in the driveway, and of course I had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn't moved in yet. I left my jobsite and drove nearly a half hour to get there. As soon as I arrived, the people on the east side of me were walking toward the cars. I asked if they were their cars and they said they told me that they had been living next door for two decades and had been using the free parking next door after their neighbors moved out. I told them that I’ve now bought the place so they’ll have to park somewhere else so as not to disturb the contractors. They flat-out refused and said that until I officially moved in they would continue parking there. One contractor couldn’t help but overhear the whole conversation and offered to ‘accidentally’ slash a tire or two if they parked there again. Two flat tires later and the neighbors found somewhere else to park."

Dream House

"So, get this. A couple of months ago, we finally scored our dream house. But here's the catch the sellers tried to pull a sneaky move on us. They insisted we cough up an extra $187 for these ridiculous fees that they should've covered. I mean, seriously? We weren't about to let that ruin our home-buying excitement, though. We started renovating the place, tearing down walls, and getting rid of all the junk left behind. And there it was, this table/credenza thing built into the entryway. Useless to us, really, so we decided to get it valued before we sold it. You can imagine our surprise when we were told this table was worth at least $10,000! The seller told us they didn’t want anything to do with the house once we’d bought it, so we happily paid the silly extra fees, sold the table, and laughed all the way to the bank."

Tensions Rising

"My ex-wife and I were finalizing our divorce. As we sat in the lawyer's office, tensions rose. Me: So, we agree on the division of assets? Her: Yes, and I'm taking everything. Me: You can't do that, it's not fair! Her: Well, if you want to fight, go ahead. But remember, I have evidence of your secret bank account. I looked at her smugly. Me: Oh, really? Well, I just so happen to have evidence of you cheating on me with three different men, which not only is horrible but is also in breach of our divorce contract. Since you cheated, you get nothing. You should have seen the look on her face once she’d been found out."

Boiling Over

"I was working late one night at the office when I overheard my coworker, Mark, talking about how he was going to steal my idea for a groundbreaking project. Anger boiled inside me, but I kept my cool and waited for the perfect moment. A few days later, during a company meeting, Mark confidently presented my idea as his own. Everyone praised him for his brilliance, but I knew the truth. As Mark finished his presentation, I calmly raised my hand and asked when he’d come up with such a fantastic idea. Panicking, he insisted he’d come up with the idea over a year ago. However, the technology that I had planned to use for the project had only been invented in the last few months and we all knew it. The managers saw straight through his lies and I was named the lead engineer on the project."

Older and Wiser

"Let's start with the fact that my brother's wife and I do not get along. Never have, never will. It's mutual - both fault and feelings. Also, she is very sensitive about her age. What she failed to realise is that I'm not. Skip to my 30th birthday & my mom throws a party, including my brother & his family. They have 4 kids - 5, 4 and 1 year old twins at the time. The kids are playing, we're eating cake, everyone is getting along, and the wife calls over the 4 year to whisper something in his ear. Immediately the kid comes to me and (in typical 4 year old fashion) yells 'Auntie, guess what?!' What, kiddo? 'Mom says you're 30 now and that's OLD!' My face lit up. I delightedly answered 'Yes, I am! And do you know who's a whole THREE YEARS older than me?' *wide eyes, shaking his head* 'Your MOM!'. Everyone except her had a good laugh.'"

Sandwich Special

"This guy from work named brad kept eating the food i brought and kept in the office fridge, until one day i had enough: Me: 'what are you eating?' brad: 'just something i found in the fridge, it's none of your business' Me: 'i hope you liked it, but maybe next time look closer at what your eating' brad: 'What did you do?!' He started coughing as the taste began to sink in. This time, I decided to teach him a lesson that would keep him from ever touching my food again. Instead of the tuna fish sandwich he thought he was eating, I had actually mashed up canned dog food and put it on some slices of bread. When I told him, he rushed to the bathroom as quickly as possible before he threw up all over the break room. Maybe next time he’ll bring his own food."

Dutiful Dad

"I was waiting in line at the grocery store, minding my own business, when a woman started shoving her way to the front. Me: Excuse me, there's a line. Woman: I'm important, move aside! I calmly stepped aside, giving her a smile. Unexpectedly, her eyes narrowed as she glanced down at my groceries, a suspicious look crossing her face. Woman: Wait, those are sanitary products. Why would you need five boxes of those? I responded to her calmly, 'I’m a single dad and my teenage daughter seems to be experiencing her time of the month for the first time, but I’m not exactly sure which to buy, so I’m buying a variety. She’s waiting in the bathroom of the store now.' Her eyes widened as my words sunk in, and she began to profusely apologize, especially as the people behind me started to get more annoyed at her rude behavior. Still, I let her finish paying and then went about my day. There was no need to make her feel any worse than she already did."

Don't Test Me

U/imjustheretogetbaned: "A few years ago, I was heading to class to take a final in my music history class and I forgot a scantron. I stopped by the college bookstore, grabbed a scantron, and ran up to the counter. When I pulled out my card, she pointed to a sign that said $10 minimum...there was a take a penny, leave a penny jar. So I reached over and grabbed a couple of dimes...'Her’ put her hand over the jar and said you can leave change, but you can’t take change. I proceeded to go to the furthest corners of the store and pick up about $200-worth of small items from the...most inconvenient spots in the store. Welp, as soon as I signed for the items, I told her ‘I’d like to return everything but the scantron please.’ She ended up calling campus officers. When the officers arrived, they informed her that what I did was completely OK."

Manners Matter

U/The1Hokney: "I work for a rental car company, and if you call me up at the end of the day demanding that I deliver you a car—all while cursing at me—you will be left stranded on the side of the road and I will not lose even a little sleep about it. However, if I’m moments from closing and you’re nice and polite, I will go out of my way to help you and stay after we close if I have to."

Set Himself Up

U/sarcastinymph: "I film and edit promotional videos, then post them on my company’s YouTube channel. The day after I uploaded a particular run-of-the-mill video, my manager called me into his office because one of our directors, who hates our department and loves undermining me in particular, sent an email to my manager and a few higher-ups. In the email, he stated that I had messed up the promo video, because there were 'all of these other disgusting videos attached to it.' As proof, he included a screenshot of the end of the video, where all of the recommended videos appeared to star scantily-clad Asian women...Neither he nor my manager knew how YouTube algorithms worked. He didn’t realize that the videos were suggested because he, or someone on his account, viewed that kind of content before."

Asking for It

"I work in loan collections, and most of my customers are horrifically rude. Sometimes during a really bad phone call, a customer will yell at me in a stream of awful words and then just hang up before I get a chance to tell them I’m trying to prevent a repo on their car. That’s when I call it a day and process them for a repo anyway."

Lesson Learned

U/steffanlv: "Some jerk in a Humvee decided to park in a handicap spot at a Kroger. I was young at the time and out riding with my dad, who was a repo man…driving his repo truck. My dad towed the Humvee to a parking spot on the opposite side of the parking lot. We then waited until the owner came out and looked around in disbelief. She thought someone took her car. My dad drove right up to her, rolled down the window, and said, 'Are you ok, miss?' The woman said, all concerned, 'My car was taken by someone.' My dad replied very coolly to her, 'Well, maybe you shouldn’t have parked it in a handicap spot,' gave her a smile and drove off."

Special Return Policy

U/wehopeuchoke: "I work at a retail location that does returns strictly only with tags on the clothes. There was one customer who was exceptionally rude to our staff right from the moment she walked in and was browsing. She called both women working dumb i-----, which cheesed me off. But I made sure she got what was coming to her. She came up to the register and told me straight-up she’ll probably return all the things she’s buying because she was just trying to impress her friends. So I took all the tags off the clothes when I was bagging everything. I bettered the world that day."

The Last Room

U/JoshuaLyman: "When I was nine years old, my dad and I were driving around some little town in Europe for an hour or so looking for a place to stay, but we kept getting told that everywhere was full. So we pull into the nth hotel of the evening. As dad and I are walking in, we hear the desk clerk tell another potential guest that they have one room left. The guy, though, is kind of rude and huffy, and he says snippily, 'I’ll have to check with my wife.' Suddenly, my dad yells from across the lobby 'I’ll take it.' Dude gets this shocked look on his face, spins around, and tells the clerk 'I’LL take it.' Desk clerk to other guy: 'I’m sorry, sir but we’ve just sold out.'"

No Boys Allowed

U/mastad0420: "My sister and I worked for Circuit City. There was an angry male customer she was dealing with who demanded to speak to the manager. When she went to get the manager, Laurie, the customer rebuffed her, saying a woman couldn’t help him and demanding to speak to yet another manager. So she got her manager Ruthanne. He was so mad at this point and yelled, 'Don’t any men work in this store?' I’m listening to this, so I walk out and say in my most feminine voice possible, 'Hello sir, can I help you?' He screamed and left the store."

Twice the Talent

"I work at Starbucks, and I am a bilingual native Spanish speaker. Even though my English is not as good as my Spanish, it’s pretty good, but some people think I have a speech impairment. One time, I was talking with my coworkers and forgot a word in English. I just stuttered and honestly seemed pretty dumb at the moment. One of my coworkers laughed and started making fun of me. She was a transfer and didn’t know I am a native Spanish speaker. A few minutes passed, and she was taking a drive-thru order which had a Spanish speaker that didn’t know much of English. She had a lot of trouble taking the order, and no one knew what she was saying. I immediately took over the order, talking in fluent Spanish. Since that day, she’s been hesitant to look me in the eyes."

Call it Even

U/ParkShipPirate: "We bought a house a couple of months ago, and the sellers insisted that we pay several small fees that are customarily covered by the seller. The total was $187 and...we weren’t going to walk away over something so small. We renovated the house and there was a table/credenza thing that had been built into the entryway. After demolition, we were planning on throwing it out. When one of the neighbors noticed we had put it outside to be thrown out, they texted the old owners to see if they wanted it, as it was something they said they had loved about the house. The old owners text me, since we were getting rid of it anyway, that surely we wouldn’t mind if they came by and picked it up instead? I told them interestingly we had recently gotten an offer from someone else to buy it…for $187."

Legal Ramification

U/zzzwhat: "I was crossing the street and some guy tried to run over me, and then stopped his car to yell at me. Little did he know, I was a law school student at that time, so I cited some (imaginary) section of the state vehicle code at him. He stared at me for a few seconds, then said, 'I’m sorry miss' and drove away with his tail between his legs."

Sharing is Caring

U/Obieusmaximus: "Today on the train, I sat next to an angry woman who wanted the two seats to herself. As I sat there, she kept mouthing under her breath how she just wanted to sit there alone. I wanted to tell her that it was public transportation and she needed to get over it, but I kept my mouth shut. A few minutes later, a bigger woman with a large purse comes and stands in the same car as us. I get her attention and tell her that she could have my seat. She huffs and puffs her way to me and I help her sit down while grinning at the angry woman who was upset I’d sat beside her. I enjoyed watching her head almost explode from anger as the other woman’s purse and body pressed against her for the rest of the ride."

Cold Hearted

U/superpotato95: "I live in New Jersey and we just had a snowstorm so I thought I could make some quick cash by shoveling driveways. So I go to this house and this lady says that she will give me $50 for shoveling her driveway and sidewalk, so I start and finish about 20 minutes later. I go up to the door and knock, but she won’t open it. Then I see her looking at me through the window but she quickly turns away and pretends like nothing happened. At this point, I realize that I just got tricked into doing a ton of work and I’m not getting paid. I remember that my friend...has one of those machines that clear snow. I borrow it from him and run down to her house. I turn it on and blast that snow that I shoveled and some more all on her yard."

Bathroom Break

U/EmeraldEmesis: "My second-grade teacher took pride in being a mean old witch to her students. One day during cursive lessons, this kid named Joseph asked to use the bathroom. She told him he should’ve used the bathroom during morning recess and would have to wait until lunch. A little while later, he started squirming in his seat and again asked to use the bathroom... At this point, our teacher starts berating the kid by telling him he is a little baby for not holding his bladder like a big boy and suggesting that he should wear diapers. Joseph gets tired of her, stands up from his seat, stares her directly in the eye, and proceeds to unleash the most epic man-sized pee he could muster. Our teacher just stood there dumbfounded for a moment before grabbing Joseph by the arm and dragging him off to the principal’s office."

Parent Privilege

"I was on a transatlantic flight...The woman next to me had a baby in a crib and a small child. She...sat her toddler right next to me leaving an empty seat between her and her kid; I had no issue with any of it until food arrived and the child started moving around a lot...and was making it impossible for me to eat. I asked her politely to do something about this and her reply was that it is known that those seats are for people with children. I took my tiny w--- bottle to the bathroom and filled it up with water. When she took the kid to the toilet I proceeded to pour the water on the seat next to me. They came back and after 10 minutes the kid said to the mother that he is wet. She sat the child in the other seat..."

Dog Eat Dog World

U/Your_acceptable: "I had a neighbor that had a dog that, I kid you not, barked from bout 7 pm until 5 am NON STOP. I knocked numerous times, and they only said: 'Dogs bark, what do you expect?' Their house was directly behind mine; we shared a divided wall. So I recorded their dog for a full day. The minute they brought him in, and I felt like they were sleeping, I popped my phone into the dock and played it on my stereo full blast facing their yard at 9 am. They came over raving mad to my wall by about 12 noon, asking me to shut my dog up. I said 'It’s your dog. I recorded him...I’m just playing the radio at normal allowable city time, and I will do this every day.' They started bringing the dog in at night after that."

Public Embarrassment

U/3rdramdeep: "I play poker a lot. In one casino, there is a ridiculously loud obnoxious jerk who plays regularly. He fist pumps and yells when he sucks out on people. To top it off, he is a larger guy and he tries to physically intimidate everyone. Now, I am not a small guy in the slightest, but when I’m relatively clean-cut, I look very unintimidating. I am polite and friendly, know most of the dealers and half the patrons by name. What this jerk doesn’t know, however, is that I know how to handle myself both in a battle of verbal wit and physical fists. He is verbally berating another player at the table for their 'terrible call.' So I just burst out: 'Mike buddy, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How’s that violent case of h-----?' He never bothered me or anyone else the rest of that month."

Reserved Seating

U/RyanGee: "I was sitting in a movie theater and people asked me to save two seats in the middle of my row. I sat there for a while when a busty lady made her way up the row and stopped right next to me...she looks at me and says ‘Can you move.’ I smile with all the awkward tension and said, ‘Sorry, those are being saved.’ And then I kid you not, she snapped her fingers in my face and said ‘WATCH ME.’ I could tell she was getting ready for another attempt, so I slumped down in my chair and put my hands towards the seat in front of me to block her, and she was forced to sort of run into my legs a few times. I looked at her boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and said, ‘Come on, let’s go.’"

Lightbulb Idea

U/upshot: "Some years ago, we had some new neighbors move in next door. Nice enough people, but we had a problem with them. The problem was the floodlights over their garage doors. They were positioned such that they would shine into our bedroom at night. We asked them politely several times if they could turn them off at night since they served no effective purpose. They adamantly refused. The solution that I arrived at was to simply loosen them up enough that they wouldn’t come on. Finally, one day, my neighbor asked me if I ever had any trouble with my outdoor lights. I told him yes...I said that they would loosen up occasionally and I would have to retighten them. I told him that I finally just gave up and left them off. He eventually did the same."

Don't Mess With the Police

U/sarahpalinst: "When I was working at a car dealership, we had a bunch of cars get their wheels taken one night by young punks. An officer was in writing a report and a lady came in yelling that he was blocking her from getting to the service drive-through. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and creating a huge scene. So the officer calmly walks out and moves his car, then comes back in and finishes his report. But the best was yet to come. He then walks back out and drives his car to the end of the street and parks. The lady comes out, gets in her car, and leaves. The officer then pulls her over for having her wipers on without her headlights on. So satisfying."

An Easy Fight

U/downvote_allmy_posts: "I called out a guy for parking in a handicapped spot while his able-bodied girlfriend walked into a 7-11. When he got out of the car like he wanted to fight, he wasn’t prepared for what happened. I work construction, and my three HUGE co-workers got out of our car as well and walked behind me. The guy shrunk back in and backed out of the spot."

Noise Control

U/Wassa76: "Now, we all like the occasional garden party with noise. However, my neighbor seems to be 'an entertainer.' This family and their guests, rather than having civilized discussions, like to shout over each other...Let alone the kids who start screaming for attention. I used to let this go at first, but after a whole summer...I had to do something about it. So now I wait until they serve up the food and everyone’s plated up…before I crank up the lawnmower and drown them out so they can no longer hear each other. They then scuttle off inside, having to carry everything in and relay the table. Sometimes they come out after I’m done and set up and continue. It just so happens that I’ll then find a bush or tree that needs tending to with the hedge trimmer."

Harmless Prank

U/asdf_qwerty27: "I was trying to find a parking spot at my university. While searching, I saw a Corvette taking up FOUR prime spots near the front of the lot. After about 10 minutes of waiting and looking for a spot, one opened up towards the back of the lot finally. Furious at the nerve of the Corvette driver being so inconsiderate, I then wrote a note saying, 'Sorry I hit your car, you probably won’t even notice the damage,' and left it on their windshield. When I got out of class and was headed back to my car, I saw a very stereotypical college-aged Corvette owner frantically searching their vehicle while yelling into their phone. I don’t know who they were talking to, but I feel bad for them having to deal with this person."

Joy Ride

U/twilling8: "My first car was a 1984 Jeep CJ7...I was working midnights at a gas station and loaned it to my brother...I got a call around 1 am from my brother, who told me he left the keys in the Jeep and it was taken. I was devastated…but I was still on the phone with my brother when the thieves pulled my Jeep into my gas station to fill up on gas. As luck would have it, the gas gauge on my Jeep was broken and always read ‘empty,’ and I worked at the only 24-hour gas station in the area. I pressed the silent alarm and…proceeded to fill up my Jeep...When the thieves were out of the Jeep, I saw an opportunity to slip the key out of the ignition and into my pocket. The delay was enough for the authorities to arrive."

No Parking Zone

U/I_Have_Unobtainium: "I volunteer at my university, safe walks and all that jazz. We are required to report suspicious activity. I once witnessed a woman driving a Mercedes-Benz across a lawn to bypass the parking gate, tearing up this gorgeous lawn. I was not amused, so we reported it to the parking authority. They couldn’t have come at a better time. They show up while the woman is still getting stuff out of her trunk, box her in, and start writing a ticket. She ended up driving away over a curb and peeling her entire bumper off in the process. Made me happy inside."

Kick Back and Relax

U/deliasen: "I was out to a movie with my friends last night. We come and sit down, and I realize pretty soon that this girl in the row behind us has her feet up on my friend David’s seat. A few minutes later, David says, ‘Hey, will you get your feet off my chair? It’s extremely rude.’ And they still don’t budge. So I tell David that he should go find an employee...after a couple of minutes, an employee comes and talks to this girl. After the employee leaves, she puts her feet right back up. So I get out of my seat...sit down in the seat directly behind this girl, and stick my foot on the back of her chair and push it forward. They both turn around and try to say something to me...so I just say ‘just watch the movie.’ I kept my feet up there the entire movie."

Distracted Driving

U/wave517: "I was riding my bike to work one day and while I was crossing the street, a woman ran me over. She drove through the crosswalk, looking to turn right, and ran right into me. After I got bumped hard enough by her fender to take a spill and have some bruising all down my side, she stopped. She only gave me an exasperated, 'my bad' wave and continued to talk on her cell phone, ignoring me as I picked myself and my bike up. So I walked right up to her open window, grabbed her cell phone from her ear, and chucked it into a nearby parking lot as hard as I could. I swear that was the farthest I have thrown anything in my life. She gaped at me in shock as I struggled back onto my bike and slowly rode off, fuming yet victorious."

Smooth Move

U/Tristan2353: "This guy got out of his car to express some road rage to me after we’d had an altercation while driving. I just got out of my truck, walked past him, pushed the lock button on his door, closed it, and walked past him again. Then I got back in my truck and drove off. He seemed to be frozen with confusion the entire time."

The Bad List

U/steffanlv: "Every year, my dad would wrap a month’s worth of trash as gifts. He made them look all nice and professional. He’d then drive to the bad section of town with all the 'presents' in the bed of his truck. He’d go grab a coffee at the shop across the street and wait for the hoodlums to take the Christmas 'gifts.' My dad? Not a nice guy."

Friendly Greeting

U/choppers_19: "I came out of the mall one day to find that someone had hit my car. I asked a passerby what happened, and they told me that the guy who hit my car got out, looked at the damage, and quickly parked at the other end of the lot. So I came up with an ingenious plan for revenge. I went to where the car was parked, paint matched it to confirm that it was the one that hit mine, then I flattened all four tires, and left a note on their windshield telling them to have a nice day."

Boys Will Be Boys

"These punk kids who lived next door used to steal my wheelchair and use it to race down the hill on our street. I caught them twice and told them it’s not a toy, I need it to get around. I told their mother about it but she said, 'they’re just boys having fun.' So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I loosened the breaks and left the wheelchair sitting in front of my garage. The next day I heard screams out front. The eldest boy broke his leg when he lost control of the wheelchair. Their mother accused me of 'sabotaging' them and threatened to sue. I said, 'they’re just boys having fun!'"

What's the Rush?

U/_not_so_sure: "I was in line at a grocery store cashing out a 12-pack of drinks. A woman walks towards me and takes her place in line, however instead of standing behind me in line, she decided to stand right beside me...the lady beside me actually pushes past me and tries to cut me. Honestly, in my head, I was about to just let her go because she clearly was in a much bigger rush than I... However, the awesome cashier...says to her ‘Uh, I’m sorry but she was waiting here before you.’ The lady scoffs and steps aside. With a huge smile on my face, I make sure to have a nice and lengthy ‘How’s your day?’...chat with the cashier. The whole time I felt the lady in a rush’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, and I was just loving every minute of it."

Cash or Card

U/Yomat: "Years ago I was in a grocery store express checkout line, and the line was long. The guy behind me starts huffing and puffing about people using their credit cards. 'Doesn’t anyone use cash anymore?' 'They should have a cash-only line.' As more people use their cards, he gets louder and louder about his dumb complaint. I was buying a $1.25 pack of gum and had $2 cash in my hand. It was too easy. As I rang up my gum, I put the $2 back in my wallet and pulled out my credit card. The look on his face? PRICELESS!! Even the cashier had to chuckle as she handed me the receipt and the guy swore as I signed it and handed it back. Made my day!"

Monopoly Money

U/TheGentleWookie: "When I was working at a bad job in my younger days, a customer was upset that he had to wait in line like everyone else before being able to make his purchase. He actually said, 'Do you know who I am? I own hotels!' To which I replied, 'Well sir, I’m sorry, but this isn’t Monopoly, this is Krispy Kreme.' He was not pleased."

Fiery Ending

U/detroityeahdude: "About three years ago, I was working in a pretty big factory. So when someone started taking my lunches, everyone became a suspect. Needless to say, the frustration spawned several evil plans, but I felt the Carolina Reaper would give me the fastest and most effective results. I spent all night making the best steak fajitas for lunch the next day. I finally minced the Reaper peppers into a nice pico de gallo, and topped my devil fajitas off. I carefully placed my fajitas into a Tupperware bowl...then covered them with a clear lid to display their beauty. The next morning, about an hour after I placed them in the fridge, a woman started screaming for help. I ran to the lunchroom to find the Lunch Box Bandit laying on the floor gasping for air. The Reaper peppers triggered an asthma attack, and he had to be rushed to the hospital."

Stranger Danger

U/Shileka: "We live in an apartment block, and occasionally have new people move in and out, yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady. My boyfriend greeted her with a simple ‘Hello.’ He also tried to say ‘welcome,’ but she cut him off with, ‘Shut up, I don’t know you.’ Today when returning from grocery shopping, we found her trying to pick the lock...She’s apparently been at it a while, because before we could open the door with our key, a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her. The officer asked her why she was breaking in. She responded that she lived here. She then turned to us and said that, ‘They know me.’ My boyfriend smiled and said, ‘I don’t know you.’ We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm, and my boyfriend repeated, ‘We don’t know her.’"

Straight to Court

U/Anotherminion14: "Many moons ago...I saved up enough money to move from my apartment...I was really excited and told my favorite neighbor about it. He told me not to even bother trying to get my security deposit back, because the landlord never returned security deposits. The landlord didn’t even bother to do a final walk-through. After 30 days, I emailed her and asked about my deposit. I filed a small claims court case for the deposit. This lovely lady’s strategy was to hire a lawyer and bump it up to the next higher court. I then sent a certified letter to her attorney asking for a full disclosure of the evidence being presented. A week later, I received a call from the lawyer, asking what I wanted in order to avoid court—settlement accomplished. I let my neighbor know how to get his deposit back when he was ready to move."

Just Desserts

U/shuffledy: "At the end of a long commute home after a hard week, I went to a Millie’s Cookies store just before closing time. As I walked up to the counter, some guy ran from behind me and tried to cut in front of me. The girl working there insisted I was first, thankfully. Outraged and noticing there weren’t many cookies left, I said, 'Hi, I’ll take absolutely everything you have.' Cost me close to $60, but it was so worth it."

Find it Yourself

"This guy walks up to my work and asks, 'Hey, kid, where is Voodoo Donuts?' Only he swore when he said it. I’m 27, he swore in front of a child nearby, and was loudly smacking his gum. Instead of sending him to Voodoo Donuts, which was only a few blocks away, I gave him directions that would lead him to the rough part of town."

Simple Justice

U/eljesus: "I watched a lazy shopper park their grocery cart right behind another person’s car instead of putting it in the cart return. I got out of my car, moved the cart, and put it behind the lazy shopper’s own car. I then ran off and watched her have to get back out of her car since she couldn’t back out, and then finally put her cart away. I felt like a champion of the people."

Entitles Elevator

U/chedeng: "There was this incident I heard about a couple of years back about a local socialite, who married into one of the richest and most powerful families here. The story goes that she was at a bank’s main office to meet with the CEO. Instead of taking the elevator like a regular person, she had her bodyguards remove all the people inside the elevator so that she could go up alone without people bothering her. Funny thing is, one of the people she had forced out the elevator was the bank owner’s wife, who decided to take another elevator with the rest of the people who were forced out. The owner’s wife got her sweet revenge. Once the socialite got to the office, the bank owner’s wife was already there and promptly told her to get out of her building."

Hidden Trap

U/PatientBear1: "My dad is out of state on business driving through some no-name town when he goes through an intersection. Suddenly, a cop pulls him over and tickets him—stating that he ran a stop sign. My dad insisted that there was not any stop sign, but the cop did not listen. Furious, he went back to the intersection and saw that there was indeed a stop sign hidden behind a tree and twisted in the wrong direction! Even angrier, he went into a convenience store and bought a disposable camera. Luckily, my dad had to be back there in a few weeks for work. The cop assumed that someone with out-of-state plates would just pay the ticket, and was shocked when my dad turned up in court, calmly presented his evidence to the judge, and strolled out in five minutes scot-free."