35+ Gloriously Cursed Internet Comments

Heard about the Cursed Comments subreddit? If you haven't, go see what you’re missing. It’s full of short, shocking lines that will stop you mid-scroll and make you ask, wait, did I just read that?

When Your Contact Name Is Your Spouse

Some people save their partner under a sweet nickname. This guy saved his wife under her full name instead, and that feels oddly cold. Better the real name than a morbid joke, but his sense of humor is delightfully twisted. Honestly, he one-upped the usual weird pet-name flex.

Letting Tradespeople Into Your Home

You can learn a lot about someone by letting a plumber or electrician inside. It’s a weirdly vulnerable moment - they see how you live and what you hide. No shame if your place is chaotic, they’ve probably seen worse. Just don’t get too friendly with the tradesperson’s spouse or you’ll invite awkward questions.

Spotify UK Tweet Sounds Pretty Flirty

Brands constantly try to stay fun and relevant on social. Spotify’s UK and Ireland team posted a tweet that looked harmless at first. Then someone pointed out the implication and the tone shifted fast. Suddenly the tweet read less like a promo and more like a low-key come-on.

Pets, Wild Animals, And Common Sense

Protecting your pet’s paws in bad weather is a sensible thing to do. That said, bringing wild animals inside is not the same as sheltering your dog. Leave raccoons and bears in the wild so they can live their lives. If a bear is already in your house, that’s on you.

Time to Browse

We know a ton of guys who would definitely benefit from some basic grooming, especially around the eyebrow area. But before you pluck a guy’s eyebrows, just prepare them for the pain they’re bound to experience. A real man can admit when he feels pain. If your boyfriend punched you to prove the pain he felt didn’t make him inferior, it's time to dump him. We can’t believe this comment.

Interior Design

When you don’t have much space to work with, sometimes you have to get creative. This cafe owner made the most of his space with a completely unique way of seating his customers. However, we can definitely see where there might be some awkwardness. Asking someone if they prefer top or bottom is a surefire way to make a customer very angry—that, or very excited.

Increased Difficulty

As if life wasn’t difficult enough, some people have to walk around without being able to breathe properly. Instead of looking at your life so negatively, convince yourself you’re just playing the game of life at a higher level than everyone else. Just make sure you're not listening to people like this Twitter user. Focus on making it through each level. You can do it.

Birthday Wishes

We leave so many things unsaid. How many times has someone passed away only for the people in their lives to wish they had said something while they still had the chance? Speaking about all the good characteristics one has at a birthday party is a sweet notion—except when you think about all the things one actually says at a funeral. Watch what you say to someone, or it might come off more like a threat than a wish.

Staying Active

We’ve heard some interesting pet names before, but this is one of the more clever names we’ve ever come across. Now, you can have a little inside joke only you and your dog know. However, who would’ve thought that there would be an unexpected consequence of this joke? Now, we’ll never know if this commenter is actually into fitness or if he ran over a bump in the road that looked an awful lot like a cute pooch.

I Know Where You Live

We love watching cooking videos, especially from random people on the internet. This guy decided to put his skills to the test and see just how his own pizza would compare to top fast-food chains. Too bad he hadn’t thought through the fact that he had just ordered a pizza from the business. Just because Pizza Hut can’t deliver a good pizza, doesn’t mean they can’t deliver a good threat.

Spidey Senses

We all have behaviors that are a little bit embarrassing. Eating kiwis with the fuzzy skin still on is definitely odd, but we’ve heard of weirder habits. We were going to forgive this person for their weird tendencies until we read the last sentence. We really wish they had kept their thoughts about tarantulas to themselves. Something is severely wrong—we’ll be glad to testify to the officer as well.

14 Reasons

There are a plethora of pick-up lines to choose from, so why do people keep using the worst, cheesiest ones they can possibly think of? We have so many questions—the most important being, why did they use the cast members of *13 Reasons Why* to depict this cringy exchange? We wouldn’t go as far as calling this our 14th reason, but we understand the sentiment.

Not Again

Humans are creatures of habit. When we can order anything our heart desires right to our doorstep in just a few days, why would we ever stop? It’s one thing for an Amazon driver to start to recognize the same houses over and over again. When it’s an ambulance driver, that’s when things start to get really concerning. Exactly what is going on in these houses?

True Satisfaction

We’re always told that the grass is greener on the other side. We can’t help but compare our situation to other people’s and wish we were in their shoes. When it comes to being lost at sea or stuck on an uninhabited island, we’d really prefer to not be in either position. Still, you might finally be able to stop comparing yourself to others and instead, think about how you’re going to overpower the other person for your next meal.

Cleaning Up

There’s nothing worse than being in the bathroom and realizing you don’t have enough toilet paper. If you’re lucky, there will be a second roll. If you’re unlucky, there will be a roll of duct tape and a challenge. Originally, we thought duct tape sounded pretty terrible, but when the other options are sandpaper, canvas, or your bare hands, duct tape’s looking pretty good.

Silly Moose

Though we often feel a desire to pet and feed animals, regardless of whether or not they’re wild, there’s a good reason wildlife experts tell us not to. Coming across an aggressive moose is definitely not something we’d be happy to experience. However, with a comment like this, we’re staying far, far away from any moose we see. This person reeks of chaos, and not in a fun way.

Meeting IRL

They say be careful with people you meet on the internet, but folks love to ignore that warning. After meeting online while playing their favorite game, these two decided to take their friendship off the computer and into real life and meet up at the Santa Monica pier. We’re honestly surprised that both of these folks are exactly who they said they were. Otherwise, this could’ve very easily gone downhill.

Sweet Gesture

There’s nothing quite like waking up in the morning next to the love of your life. When life gets busy though, and schedules start to differ, a kiss on the forehead before they leave is a sweet way for your partner to say goodbye, while still letting you sleep. But context is everything. If you live alone, a kiss on your forehead while you’re sleeping is suddenly the very opposite of sweet. If that happened to you, it’s time to move.

Follow the Tracks

While we can’t necessarily run like a dog, now you can walk around and leave the same tracks as one, with these special shoes. As the advertisement for them says, now you can let the dog take the blame for mud on the carpet. That, or you can watch the dog get blamed for doing something much more sinister all over the porch. We’re not condoning this behavior, but if you have a vendetta against your neighbor, you might just need a pair of these shoes.

Too Close for Comfort

We all wish our families were closer. As we grow up, we tend to grow a bit apart from our parents. But when things like this happen, we’re reminded that some space from our loved ones is probably healthy. Why on earth would this dad need to remind himself to engage in this activity and why is he using their Amazon account as his calendar? Please, for everyone’s sake, show him how to use a different app to give him his reminders.

Toe-tally Uncool

When it comes to dating, everyone has preferences—age, looks, career, or bank accounts are all things to consider before you discover what someone’s preferences are on a more intimate level. By all means, explore your interests—we’re not judging. Just don’t explore in the middle of a coffee shop on a first date, without consent. Picturing this is awful enough, we can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like to experience it.

Fear Factor

Fear plays a large role in our lives. It can make us freeze, run away, and act in ways we never expected to. But fear is what you make it, and just like this sign says, you always have two options. Well, according to this comment, you apparently have three options. However, we’d definitely advise against picking the third option—for your sake and everyone else’s.

Urine Trouble

We thought it was common knowledge that your water intake was reflected in the color of your urine. Whoever made this chart had the right idea, though we’re not sure Gatorade is the best way to check if you’re staying hydrated. Please go see a doctor before your pee ever reaches the color of the red Gatorade. If it ever turns blue, unfortunately, it's too late for you.

Night In

There’s nothing quite like a night in, full of doing nothing but eating your favorite take-out and watching your favorite movies. These are the nights you can be in your most relaxed and comfortable state. This guy had the pizza, so all he needed were some movie suggestions. Instead, he got some other person commenting on the food he was eating. Poor guy didn’t deserve this ridicule.

What’s for Breakfast?

After dating for a while, you know your partner’s favorite food, how they drink their coffee, and what time they like to wake up. However, when you first start a relationship, you still need to discover the little details about your new girlfriend. Knowing how she likes her eggs, for example, is a particularly important piece of information—especially when you’re talking about breakfast and she’s talking about making you a father.

First Kiss

When you’re a young teenager, you think your first kiss will never happen. We hope it brings you some reassurance to know that the average kiss only happens around the age of 15. Sorry, buddy, but a kiss on the hand does not count as a first kiss, unless you’re living out the exact life of the character this person made up here. If this isn’t how your life is going, then you have to try again.

New Hairdo

Going to the hairdresser always feels like a big deal. No matter what new style you get, you have to part ways with the length you spent so long growing out. If you’re looking for some inspiration for a new hairstyle, look at this chart for some cute and classic ways of styling your hair. We just wouldn’t go to the barber to ask for any of these styles, especially when we’re not even sure what getting an “original” haircut even means.

Return Policy

Kids are easily influenced. If their friends at school have Air Pods, then they want Air Pods too. Any old Samsung pair just won’t do. This poor dad doesn’t have an argument that’ll change his daughter’s mind, no matter how much expertise he has. Guess rid of them would definitely teach his daughter a lesson—especially if the thing he’s getting rid of is his daughter herself.

Swipe Left

These days, no one can be trusted. With so many dating apps to join and people to message online, there are far more disloyal people than there are loyal ones. This girl discovered her boyfriend had a Tinder account, but we can’t find it in us to feel bad for her. Maybe if she wasn’t also swiping on Tinder, we’d have a bit more sympathy for her.

Intrusive Thoughts Only

Before emojis were a part of our everyday lives, people could interpret the sentences you wrote in any way they wanted. Now, emojis have incredible power to sway the way someone reads things online. Be especially careful with this particular emoji. If you use this face in a text, we’ll think you’re engaging in some things you definitely shouldn’t be—and feeling pretty proud of yourself also.

Round of Applause

You can find a video on the internet of just about anything—even an extended video of just the sound of hands clapping if your heart so desires. Unfortunately for this person, the sound in this video was oddly familiar to them, reminding them of the noises coming out of their parents' bedroom. If they hear this all the time, we wonder why they would actively seek out a video with the same noise.

HR Violation

When you’re in love, you start to act in ways that might have made you cringe before. Suddenly, sitting on your girlfriend’s lap just feels right, no matter where you are or who’s watching. However, we’d probably recommend you keep up some semblance of professionalism in the workplace. We’re only judging this couple a bit, but there’s no way this would fly in an office setting.

Parent or Guardian

Even when he was a baby, Harry Potter was still able to defeat the most feared, powerful wizard in all of the Wizarding World. If no one was able to defeat him when he was the good guy, imagine how terrifying it would’ve been if Harry was the villain of the story. Wow, this person has absolutely no chill. We can’t believe he would just bring up Harry’s dead parents like that—though they’re not wrong.

Meeting the In-Laws

Dating two people at the same time can be messy, especially if they don’t know about the other person. But in this case, it seemed that one of them knew about the other, and wasn’t put off by it. In fact, it seems as if he was interested in being buddies with his girlfriend’s other boyfriend. That sounds pretty chaotic to us, but we wish the boyfriend-in-laws lots of luck.

Turn Up the Heat

Sometimes, life gets too busy to always cook a meal from scratch for your family. That’s where the convenience of frozen, ready-to-go meals comes in handy. We’re not sure where this person thinks they have the authority to tell others what to do. Not giving your kids frozen food is pretty much a given. Microwaving your children, on the other hand, is simply terrible advice.

Dog Days are Over

Whenever we take our dogs to the groomers, they always come back looking like a shaved, skinny version of themselves that we just don’t recognize. But we’ve never seen a cursed haircut like this one before. The bald head would be enough to creep us out, but now that we’ve noticed the human ears on a dog, we can’t unsee them. What is going on here, and why can we not seem to get this image out of our brains?

Miss Independent

Though we all dream of making our own money and being able to provide for ourselves, sometimes, it’d be nice to be taken care of by someone else. After all, working to live the lives we want just doesn’t feel all that inspiring. However, when we realize that women do indeed make a lot less than men even in the same job, it reminds us that we need to work hard and decrease the wage gap. Life is so difficult.

The Afterlife

If you really want to get existential, contemplating whether there’s an afterlife and what happens after you're dead is a pretty good place to start. But instead of sharing their opinion on where they think people and souls end up after death, this person decided to deliver the hard truth. After all, while we might be curious about more abstract and spiritual questions, humans can’t help but be pretty materialistic in the end.

Knight in Shining Armor

When it comes to a pet, most people go for the classic dog or cat. If you’re contemplating getting a more unique pet, a chameleon is a great option. Not only are these little amphibians so cute, but they also can be anything you want them to be. Give them a little sword, and they become a chameleon knight or a pen, and they become a chameleon author. The creative possibilities are endless.

Cursed Hit and Run

Many little girls dreamt of having a Beetle car when they were younger. With the cutest colors, these looked like the perfect vehicles to drive around in. Add some daisy rims, and you’ve turned these into picture-perfect, Barbie-styled cars. Now, when you accidentally get into a crash, everyone will be less focused on the fact that you’re a bad driver and more focused on your pretty car.

Lost and Found

Cats are curious creatures, always on some adventure. If you’re a cat owner, you’ve probably experienced losing your cat for a few days and then having it show up like nothing happened. Don’t worry—if your cat disappears, it’s probably just off schmoozing with another family in another house. If the same thing is happening with your girlfriend, however, you'd better hope someone nice is taking care of her.

Whoever Smelt It

What is going on in the stomachs of older men that they constantly need to relieve themselves? If this happens to be your dad as well, take him to the zoo for a day full of weird smells from all sorts of weird places. Still, no amount of animal odors could cover up a situation like this. Zoos have bathrooms too—be aware of where they’re located, and please, use them.

Hands are Full

Parents hold immense power over their children’s lives from the moment they are born. All it takes is one terrible name to completely impact their life forever. Remember, kids are cruel, and will come up with any way to make fun of another name. If your last name is Cox, stay away from naming your child anything that sounds like a verb. However, if your last name is Berries, Holden is the only acceptable name for your child.

That Bites

We already knew that the healthcare in America was messed up. It almost makes more sense to suffer from your health issues than it does to go to the hospital to get proper care. If we got bit by a snake and we were sent a bill that looked like this, we wouldn’t even wait for them—we’d just go back into the wild and hope for a bite that had a bit more poison in it.

A McRobbery

No matter how many times we go to a fast-food restaurant, we always have to take a few minutes to look at the menu. McDonald’s Twitter account isn’t too far off when it comes to an impression of its customers. Too bad the accuracy of the impression was greatly outshined by this confession by an ex-employee who just had to tell the world about the crime he was able to get away with.

Pocketful of Sunshine

Though we’re not sure exactly what people are trying to flush these days, many plumbing systems can’t handle anything other than just a moderate amount of toilet paper. However, this bathroom has a plumbing system far more sensitive than one we’ve come across before. If you have to dispose of something solid, we've got some bad news for you. Either hold it in or take it out of the bathroom with you.

Eating Out

Though it feels like ages ago already, we can’t help but acknowledge how terrible the pandemic was for our social lives. No longer could we see our friends in person or do the things we loved to do. Whether it’s eating out, or eating with, we get what this woman is trying to say. Don’t worry, we truly understand your complaints—and we hope you’ve been able to return to your regularly programmed schedule.

Animal Rights

People become vegan for all sorts of reasons, but a common one is because of the empathy they feel for animals. While it’s clear that animals have emotions, the added element of talking would probably make a lot more humans overthink their food choices. We get what this person is trying to allude to, but we really wish we didn’t. Someone needs to watch their eating habits a bit more closely.

Got the Power

Pikachu is one of the cutest Pokémon. He’s become the face of the franchise, and his voice makes us smile. However, we often forget the power he holds in his lightning-producing tail. This drawing places him right in the middle of a huge gathering of animated characters. Still, that isn’t just the face of a Pokémon enjoying his time with friends—that’s the face of a guy who knows he holds the fate of everyone around him in his hands.

Long Story Short

These cursed comments all do one thing very well: they surprise you. One second you are scrolling, the next you are blinking and wondering if you read that right. From the husband who saved his wife under a pet name to the Pizza Hut line that read like a threat, the thread runs the same way. Shock, a little laugh, then a slow, uncomfortable grin.

Why We Laugh, Then Cringe

There is a tiny rush when something taboo pops up unexpectedly. Dark or gross humor gives people a way to process discomfort, and strangers online give each other permission to be weird. That mix of anonymity and attention creates the perfect petri dish for cursed lines. Still, amusement and alarm live side by side here.

When Shock Crosses A Line

Not every cursed comment is harmless. Some wander into real nastiness or vague threats, like the posts that made us read twice and feel uneasy. That moment when a joke stops being funny and starts feeling dangerous is worth paying attention to. Call it out, step away, or block it if it smells wrong.

What To Do When You Spot One

First instinct: breathe, then don't feed the troll. Screenshot if you need a record, and report anything that feels threatening or doxxing. If it is just gross or weird, laugh and move on. Protect your mental space and your privacy first.

Final Thought: Keep Your Eyes Open

Cursed comments are part of the internet's strange ecosystem. Some are funny in a twisted way, some are plain unsettling, and a few cross into real harm. Enjoy the odd ones, but be ready to act when the line gets blurry. Your feed, your rules.