Mom Films Herself Sleeping, Discovers Why She’s Always Tired

Being a mom is one of the most beautiful things in the world, but that doesn't mean it's easy. One of the biggest challenges new moms face is sleepless nights because it's really difficult getting babies to sleep. No one knows this better than Melanie Darnell, a social media influencer who went viral when she shared her restless kids’ bedtime routine with the world. After waking up tired every morning, she decided to film herself sleeping, and she couldn’t believe what she saw while watching the footage the next morning.

Meet Melanie Darnell

Melanie Darnell started sharing her motherhood journey long before her sleeping video went viral. Her Instagram page fitmomma4three has over 90,000 followers and counting. She’s committed to sharing the ups and downs of being a mom with the world. On Instagram, she describes herself as an "active mom of 3" raising a "vegan family" who's dedicated to “gentle parenting” and a "daily dose of movement”. The mom is no stranger to sharing helpful parenting advice and she was about to share her more shocking revelation yet.

Parenting Troubles

While it sounds like Darnell's got this whole mothering thing figured out—like every mom, Darnell has faced her fair share of ups and downs. After giving birth to her children, she did a great job getting back into shape and inspiring her kids to fall in love with healthy eating. Her gentle and open approach to parenting makes it clear that she’s a great mom, but there’s one part of motherhood that she struggled with as much as everyone else—putting her kids to sleep.

Feeling Exhausted

Following the birth of her third child, Darnell couldn't get over how many mornings she would wake up still feeling exhausted. No matter what time she went to bed and how many hours of sleep she got, she would wake up the next morning feeling more tired than she was the night before. The mom of three couldn't figure out why she was so exhausted because she was getting enough sleep.

Sleepless Ten Months

Almost a year passed and after many sleepless nights, Darnell knew something wasn't quite right. So she decided it was time to figure out what was causing her sleep problems. “After 10 months of waking up every morning feeling more tired than when I headed to bed I was curious, what is actually happening,” Darnell shared on Instagram. But Darnell didn't realize that she wasn't alone in her struggle.

Losing Sleep

According to The National Sleep Foundation, most adults need around seven to nine hours of sleep a night. But a survey conducted by Sleep Junkie found that parents of children under 18 months are getting much less. Before having children, 68% of the people surveyed were getting at least seven hours of sleep. Once they had kids, only 10% were getting the recommended amount. What's even more surprising is that a majority of parents of children under 18 months said they slept between five to six hours a night.

Common Problem

Sleep deprivation is a common issue that many parents deal with and Melanie Darnell was no different—she was becoming one of them. Even after waking up tired every morning for almost a year, she thought she was overreacting and that her sleep deprivation wasn't a big deal. “When I roll over and tell my husband, ‘I literally got no sleep last night', was that actually the truth? No, I’m sure I’m being dramatic, it can’t actually be that bad…,” she recalled on Instagram.

A Better Parent

After a while, Darnell came to the conclusion that she wasn't being dramatic and that she needed to take things into her own hands if she wanted something to change. Getting enough sleep wasn’t just something she needed to do for herself—it was something she needed to do to be a better parent. Not getting enough sleep makes it hard to function throughout the day, so it was important for Darnell to get to the root of the problem. She was willing to take extreme measures to find out what was causing her sleepless nights.

NEST Cam

Darnell couldn’t figure out what her sleeping routine looked like on her own, so she turned to high-tech! She decided to buy a NEST camera to film what happened during the night. “As a self-science experiment and maybe visual justification for my dramatic statements of ‘literally’ not getting to sleep at night anymore I duct-taped my NEST cam to the ceiling and let the night play out,” explained Darnell on Instagram. Her plan was pretty easy to pull off, but the real shocker came when she watched the time-lapse video the next morning.

Tough Balance

Regardless of what the NEST cam video revealed, there was one thing that Darnell wasn’t going to change—her priorities as a parent. It was important for her to be a good mom to her kids both at night and during the day because she knew that parenting doesn’t end when the sun goes down. “You have two nighttime parenting goals (1) get sufficient rest yourself and (2) meet the nutritional and emotional needs of your child. It’s a tough balance,” Darnell explained.

Going Viral

Darnell was mind blown by her time-lapse video and she felt that the rest of the world needed to see it. So, she shared her sleepless night in the YouTube video titled “Why Moms Wake Up Tired | Brutally Honest Overnight Time-Lapse”. In just 24 hours, the two-minute video received 800,000 views and 1,800 comments. It has gone on to get over nine million views! So why did millions of people have to watch it?

Harsh Reality

There was nothing inherently terrifying about Darnell’s video, but it became a viral sensation because it captured the harsh reality that many moms can relate to. In the video, Darnell's twisting and turning in her bed while her kids disturb her sleep. Of course, Darnell knew that she wasn't the only mom to struggle with this issue. “Rather than feeling isolated and exhausted, we can feel connected to the other tired mothers that are also awake,” Darnell wrote.

Tossing and Turning

Darnell’s video starts with the influencer slipping into bed on her own at 10:00 p.m. and bringing her 10-month-old son Milo to bed at 11:20 pm. As the video progresses, they toss and turn in the bed. However, Darnell doesn’t seem to mind the disruption. “In those quiet, dark hours, the lack of distraction can actually [be] quite calming and refreshing. Baby’s needs tend to be simple: to be held and fed,” she explained in the Instagram caption of her viral video.

Nighttime Warriors

However, Milo wasn't the only child to join her in bed on that sleepless night. Her two-year-old daughter Olive wandered into the bedroom at 1:00 a.m. after crying in her room and waking up her mom. In the video, Darnell did her best to take care of both of the kids and hold them in her arms. It didn't take long to calm Olive down and by 1:30, she went to tuck her back into bed. And after, she came back to tend to Milo. But did the mom end up going back to sleep?

Back to Sleep?

Darnell did her best to go back to sleep after returning to her bedroom, but it wasn’t an easy task. Milo spent the rest of the night wiggling in the bed, switching through countless different sleeping positions and even pulling on his mom’s hair at one point. By 6:20 a.m. Darnell was already wide awake and she didn’t even need an alarm to get up and start her day. Milo ended up waking her up by hitting her face with his tiny hands and it didn’t take her long to get ready for her next parenting adventure—making breakfast for her kids.

Shared Experience

Despite its brutally honest nature, there’s something incredibly touching about Darnell’s viral video. It’s heartwarming to watch her sleep by Milo’s side and try to take care of him, even in her sleep. She knew that many moms go through the same thing every night and that’s why she decided to share her video with the world. “During these moments let’s think of all of the other parents that are up with their babies at the very same middle-of-the-night moment and take comfort in knowing together we share this experience,” Darnell wrote.

Difficult Time

It’s worth noting that Darnell’s video was filmed during a difficult time for her as a parent. While her husband Paul supported her with parenting duties, he was traveling for work when the video was filmed. With time, their son Milo got better at falling asleep on his own, but he still wasn’t sleeping through the night when the video was filmed. Her daughter Olive was also suffering from an ear infection, which was probably why she woke up in the middle of the night and decided to hop into bed with her mom.

Doing it Solo

Parenting solo was quite a challenge for Darnell due to her husband's job. He’s a professional stuntman and has to be away from home for extended periods of time while filming on location. But as time passed and their children became older and more independent, sleepless nights became less frequent. However, she still needed help taking care of her kids and they welcomed an au pair into their home back in 2019.

Not Just an Influencer

Darnell has a huge following on Instagram, but she’s so much more than your regular social media influencer. Her posts are lengthy and detailed—it's obvious that she enjoys writing. She also channels her creativity through her blog *Fit Momma*. But writing isn't the only thing she does—the mom shares product reviews and blog posts about fitness and nutrition. She also wrote several e-books covering these subjects and started a course for everyone who wants to learn more about vegan nutrition.

In Her Own Words

Darnell’s “About Me” page on her blog describes her as someone who enjoys getting creative with home workouts and whipping up yummy vegan meals in the kitchen. In addition to being on her personal plant-based journey, Darnell is trying to introduce her kids to the beauty of vegan living and she’s willing to help everyone who wants to do the same. “My passion is to help you achieve your fitness goals and simplify this whole plant-based eating thing especially when it comes to raising vegan kids,” Darnell wrote on her blog.

Nine to Five

In addition to her success as an influencer, Darnell has a regular, nine-to-five job to help her provide for her family. Although she rarely talks about it on social media, she’s actually a certified public accountant and she specializes in performing financial audits. Like most moms, she puts a lot of effort into finding a work-life balance and she takes pride in both her parenting and professional accomplishments, striving to put together audit reports that would lead to new legislation, federal financial accountability, and increased transparency.

Not Permanent

While some people might interpret Darnell’s decision to share this video as her way of complaining about the hardships of motherhood, that was never her intention. She was fully aware that what she was going through was not permanent and she wanted to send words of encouragement and compassion to other sleep-deprived moms. “So, to all of the tired mothers out there, breathe in and breathe out. These days are INTENSE but SHORT lived. Both you and baby will be sleeping more soundly before long,” Darnell shared.

Sleeping Habits

Darnell’s video may also leave you puzzled due to her practice of co-sleeping with her kids since most parents simply leave them in the crib. She wanted to opt for a sleeping arrangement that made sense for her kids, but each family has its own dynamic. “If I’ve learned anything in this parenting journey is that each family is unique, we all do what works for us, that aligns with our values, and in the end, these practices create our individual family culture,” Darnell explained on Instagram.

Unique Needs

Darnell posted her viral video all the way back in 2018 and a lot has changed since then. The mom has shared several Instagram posts about her kids’ sleep needs as they've gotten older. Back in 2020, she revealed that their oldest child Sage was sleeping on her own. Olive spends most of the night in her bed, but she needs more cuddles and a song at bedtime. Milo, the youngest, was still getting used to sleeping solo. He was doing pretty well, but he had a habit of ending up in his parents’ bed around 5 a.m.

Shared Room

Darnell also revealed that her kids were all bunking in one room. They moved Olive and Sage into the same room when she was pregnant with Milo and the arrangement ended up being a great fit for the family. Once Milo was old enough to join them, they rearranged the room for all three kids. In addition to helping the children sleep better, the arrangement allowed them to create special bonding moments.

Lack of Space?

About a year after the video went viral, Darnell shared another one from inside her kids’ shared room. From climbing out of the crib to playing with a fan, her little ones are still pulling off all sorts of shenanigans. But having them share a room proved to be a great idea. “All 3 kids choose to sleep in the same room; despite having options to sleep independently. They all require unique sleep requirements but together they can make it work,” Darnell shared.

Bedtime Tips

Darnell’s experience with motherhood taught her that bedtime is often the hardest part of the day. The needs of parents and children clash once it’s time to go to sleep and that’s why she had to come up with a routine that works for everyone. She usually kicks things off with a team meeting where the family discusses their bedtime plans. She also established a strict exit time and made a chart with pictures of their nighttime routine. Once you establish these rules, it’s important to stick to them, but Darnell is no stranger to breaking them.

Being Flexible

Darnell usually walks her kids to their room when they come for one final “good night”, but there are times when she lets them stick around. All of her kids have different needs and they change over time, so she’s happy to accommodate them when there’s a shift in their bedtime routine. “We have experienced the most independent sleeper to the most co-dependent sleeper. We don’t fear sleep needs [because] they change,” she explained on Instagram.

Mom of Three

Only Milo and Olive appeared in Darnell’s viral video, but she’s actually a mom of three—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. People often ask her why she decided to have three kids and she believes that it's a deeply personal choice for every parent. “In my heart, I think you know when your family is complete. No false illusions life with 3 littles is crazy, often hard and oh so many needs. But a life I would never change because oh so much love,” Darnell shared.

Family of Five

Darnell is fully aware that having three kids has both its ups and downs, but she chooses to only focus on the good things because they have brought her joy. “Among the many things I love about having three children is that each of our kids now has more than one ally. When two fall out, there’s always someone else to cuddle or confide in. Five faces at the dinner table make every mealtime feel like a party,” she explained.

More of Everything

The mom isn’t denying that having three kids brings its own sets of challenges, but she faces them head-on. She wouldn’t change it for the world because all her kids have unique personalities and it’s a blast to watch their relationships develop. For Darnell, having three kids means more smiles, laughs, hugs, kisses, make-believe, kitchen helpers—and most importantly love. Things can be tough, but it’s absolutely worth it and her life wouldn’t be complete without Sage, Olive, and Milo in it.

Growing Pains

Darnell gave birth to her kids in less than four years and her “baby phase” lasted for about five years, but those days are slowly becoming the past. Her babies are growing up and they’re growing up fast. She’s now getting used to being a “big kid” mom. “I am faced with the finality of our decision and that can be a little sad sometimes. A door has closed for good. Though I know in my heart and mind that our family is complete and am so thoroughly enjoying these ‘bigger kids,’” Darnell explained.

New-Found Freedom

From breastfeeding to having her babies fall asleep on her chest, there are moments of early motherhood that Darnell misses, but she’s left with the memories that she’ll cherish forever. Taking care of bigger kids comes with a long list of advantages and Darnell's enjoying the freedom that comes along with it. The next chapter of her journey is watching her kids grow and seeing the people they're becoming. Darnell's ready to embark on it!

Giving Comfort

It’s been a long time since Darnell’s video went viral and received millions of views from people from all around the world. She received all sorts of comments after sharing it, but she believes it was the right thing to do because it gave comfort to other moms experiencing the same kind of hardships. “My hope was moms around the world could take comfort in knowing at the very same middle-of-the-night moment each of us is cradling our babies in the dark of our homes, together in this shared experience of motherhood,” she explained.

Touching Message

Darnell’s kids are no longer babies and lots of time has passed since she shared her sleeping routine video that went viral. While sleepless nights are a thing of the past, she cherishes the memory of them. “For now, cuddle your babies, nurse them and love them no matter what time the clock says. The baby you rock tonight someday may have the opportunity to be gazing at the stars while holding a sweet baby of her own. She will be thinking of, and appreciating, you,” Darnell shared in a touching message to fellow moms.